Life is made up of now, and the past and the future are nothing more than inedible garnishes.

“Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back b…”

“If I were a robot, and I got cheated on with a vacuum cleaner, I’d question my …”

“I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended …”

“I saw two lizards kissing yesterday, but I scared them off. Maybe I should have…”