Like a vibrator bolted on a bulldozer, I’m a regular sex machine.

“He had a last name for a first name, and a last name for a last name, but only …”

“America’s problem, in a word, is politicians. In two words, it’s politicians an…”

“There’s a hair in my soup. That’s the problem of using my helmet as a bowl.”

“I made out like a bandit. Not that I’ve ever made out with a bandit.”