Losing a child must be the second most painful thing ever. The most painful thing would be to lose the child, find him, and then watch him be murdered by his sibling, who happens to contain half of Satan’s DNA.

“I celebrate my birthday in ways not seen this side of the Old Testament. I cele…”

“Having kids and making kids are two different hobbies. I don’t have any childre…”

“Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases …”

“We’ve got a tortilla chip type of love. So am I to blame if I’m looking for a l…”