Love is like a rolling rock—with wheels. And legs, too! But no breaks or shoes or anal lubrication.

“Get off the scale, and get out of my weigh.”

“In high school pottery class, I never made a whole vase. Instead I made fragmen…”

“The cute girl at the bar asked for my number. I told her I’m number one. Then I…”

“I carry all of my childhood memories in my mind. But maybe that’s not the best …”