Love spends more time washing its hands than it does pissing in the kitchen sink. Remember that next time someone locks themself in your bathroom for the duration of the football game.

“I should be a coach, because when my players win, I win. But when my players lo…”

“Like ice, this economy is more fluid than ever. Thanks, Washington, DC!”

“My love is as blue as the sky, and if I had to attach a time to it I’d say midn…”

“We need more upright citizens in this country. Everybody is just lying down as …”