Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks?

“If my name were Ouch, it would pain me to introduce myself. As it is now, I onl…”

“Growing up, I used to use and apple instead of a baseball. It was just more fun…”

“A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, b…”

“To keep my cat from drinking out of the toilet, I could close the toilet lid, I…”