Mustaches are not only fashion statements, but they’re useful for tickling vaginas.

“I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. B…”

“I’ll name my firstborn child Squiblob, after his mother.”

“From where I live now I can walk to the beach, if I have about three weeks.”

“Birthdays are like presidential elections. I don’t like them, but they still ke…”