My advice is to write during commercial breaks, and read while your favorite TV show is on mute.

“Here’s a list of three character qualities women should look for in a guy, in d…”

“A wink and a glance walk into a bar. I know because I saw it out of the corner …”

“My favorite color is brown, as in Andrew Benson Brown.”

“If a molar-shaped asteroid crashed down from the heavens and crushed my testicl…”