My armpits smell like a baboon belch, which doesn’t make me want to shower, as you’d imagine, but rather it makes me want to go to the zoo. Maybe I’ll meet the love of my life there.

“I wash my hands twice in the bathroom—once before I touch my penis, and once ag…”

“I always buckle up, even if I’m only walking across the parking lot.”

“A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important…”

“This is my logo for Ora”