My asshole smells like a bookstore. So, are you a big reader?

“I like cup holders—in cars, as well as in jockstraps.”

“I love in all directions, except southeast. Don’t ask me why, because I already…”

“The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pa…”

“If my nipples lactated mustard, I’d wear a bra made out of two hamburger buns.”