My asshole smells like chlorine, so I hope you brought some goggles.

“I enjoy the small things in life. Like my penis.”

“If you’re wrestling someone underwater, don’t try to choke them, because it’s r…”

“My lucky rabbit's foot has kept me alive all these years. Hopefully it will do …”

“While I was there, the song reminded me of here. But now that I’m here, the son…”