My bed’s as big as a medium-sized apartment in New York City. And my erection is equal to a small.

“To most people, if you’re muttering, you might as well be speaking a foreign la…”

“Get your head out of the clouds. Stop huffing the atmosphere.”

“I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “…”

“When I feel sad, I try to think of someone else in the world who is suffering w…”