My cat will love you more than me. He won’t love you more than he loves me, but he will love you more than I love you.

“If I win in the nick of time, I’ll spread my congrats evenly to every Nick in t…”

“A blanket could be used to make you laugh, and a joke could be used to keep you…”

“Noise soup. I just made it. Taste it with your ears.”

“Sometimes when I read before bed I get so tired that my eyes gloss over the sen…”