My favorite flower lost its voice, and through aroma therapy and the assistance of both my nostrils, I’m trying to help it get it back.

“Please, allow me a moment to put my penis back where it belongs. I should never…”

“I want a trophy wife, because the only thing I’ve ever won is a fourth-place ri…”

“I wrote something for my local newspaper, but nobody read it because it got bur…”

“I can’t overstate how valuable being understated is.”