My grandpa doesn’t even have a grand to his name.

“I got my nails done today. I’m so glad that after 30 years, they’re finally fin…”

“A blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find …”

“My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.”

“I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add anot…”