My grandpa passed a few days ago. But I’m not sad. He was only driving 20 miles an hour, so I’m sure I’ll catch up to him.

“He had a ten-gallon hat that hid a twenty-gallon fish tank inside his transluce…”

“My resume speaks for itself, so to speak. I recorded it on a tape recorder.”

“A blanket could be used like a trumpet could be used as a murder weapon. And if…”

“I like to use my influence for good, rather than evil. And in this case, the go…”