My last phone call was totally uncalled for. Well, not totally. More like 99.88% uncalled for.

“I bought a zoo, which is funny, because I own the very place that should own me.”

“My body had some sort of reaction to my erection, and the only thing I could th…”

“I’m growing my hair out. Out of the country, because it’s cheaper to grow it in…”

“I am waiting on a trap door, but things might fall through for me.”