My legs are so skinny they’re like arms on a clock. And the stars are like 1-12, if you subtract infinity from the sky first.

“I’ll agree with you if you promise to argue with me. That’s what love is, right?”

“A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of…”

“A whisper is the shadow of a shout, and I keep a few in my wallet to use at the…”

“I never hit below the belt, especially if that belt is the rust belt and I’m in…”