My mom gave me life, so I gave her batteries. AA batteries.

“I am dressed as the loudness of your stereo.”

“The eyes in the frying pan looked tasty. But as good as they looked, it wasn’t …”

“The quickest way to alter an altar is not with a hammer, or even religious deco…”

“The tire left a skid mark on the road that looked like a mustache. So I shaved …”