My name is Al, but it’s not Al Falfa. You can’t eat me, damnit. At least not legally.

“There’s a new wine I want to try. I heard about it through the grapevine.”

“Michael Phelps collects huhs. Huh? His mouth said nothing, but his actions said…”

“Love is like a cloudless blue sky. That’s why I always carry an open umbrella.”

“I gave blood today. It came gushing out of my nose. And anus.”