My philosophy on life: On a burrito, the cheese goes underneath the sour cream. Otherwise, how will it melt?

“My balls dangle so low that I need a rake to scratch them. It also comes in han…”

“How will I tell her I didn’t like her ginger snap cookies? Gingerly.”

“A blanket could represent change, and a brick represents consistency. Do you em…”

“The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three i…”