My sex life is Ok. Specifically, Oklahoma City.

“I’m hungry but I won’t order 18 tubs of ketchup and a spoon. No, I’ll order it …”

“I want a trophy wife, because the only thing I’ve ever won is a fourth-place ri…”

“There’s not a person alive who is ugly. Now dead people, they disgust me.”

“I really am who I seem to be, and I’m coming apart at the seams.”