My skyscraper of a heart met an earthquake of a woman. Why can’t I meet a simple window washer? My love is a hundred stories tall—and I wrote every single one of those stories.

“Doing autograph sessions all day is not what I signed up for. But that’s just a…”

“I admire from a distance. Too close and the flaws form a craterous landscape an…”

“I wanted “300” to be less about fighting, and more about bowling. At least they…”

“It’s been said that the urine of a person with diabetes is sweet, and I want to…”