My teeth are filthy, so to impress my dentist I compensate by wearing too much cologne.

“Being buried alive in a cemetery would put me in grave danger.”

“Don’t just stand there with your Eiffel Tower smile. Tell me you love me, and t…”

“She’s the kind of woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with—af…”

“I once tried out for the Girl Scouts. I only went to one meeting. I ate all the…”