My thoughts absorb sound like sponges soak up water. Please don’t whistle while I masturbate.

“My name is Yogurt Vonnegut, and I write with a spoon.”

“My penis’ name is Pride. Pride is something every woman should be filled with.”

“I once saw a snake having sex with a vulture, and I thought, It’s just business…”

“I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.
”