My wallet was empty after the charity auction. Of course, my wallet was empty before the auction too. I donated my time and money to strippers.

“I want to invent a Laughometer, a device to measure and gauge humor, which woul…”

“A brick could be cast in Samuel Jackson roles. It would be cheaper and more dra…”

“I drew a self-portrait of myself, drawn with my eyes closed from a memory someo…”

“I’m a competitor. I once placed fifth in a bottle of whiskey.”