My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the air masturbation gesture.

“Your love is my candy, and I wouldn’t dream of trying to give it away to strang…”

“As a storyteller, I appreciate a great tale. As a cat lover, I appreciate a gre…”

“I want to assure you, I’m not that kind of pervert. But don’t worry, goat lady,…”

“The only thing I have left to remember her by is the scent of her perfume. I ju…”