Nobody likes a dick. Except a pussy. Or an asshole. Or a goat’s mouth.

“Even if there were only seventeen syllables left in the universe, I still don’t…”

“Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.”

“To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower wi…”

“A blanket could be used to tell you exactly what I mean, at precisely the momen…”