Normal is made up of two friends—Norm and Al. That’s twice the number of friends that I have, probably because I’m weirder than normal.

“Women want me, and men want to be me. And by me I mean Ryan Gosling.”

“I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange…”

“If somebody pushed you down a well, I’d rush over and toss you a bucket, becaus…”

“A blanket could be used to let the world know how serious you are. I’m serious,…”