Obese people have really begun to eat up a lot of my free time. That’s the skinny on my life.

“People who have knickknacks are people people. Some are even named Nick.”

“Mrs. Indianapolis was in town again. She looked like a can of Sprite in her gre…”

“I haven't personally met God yet, but when I do, I'll ask him if he still belie…”

“I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the he…”