Of all the things God created, from sunrises and rainbows, to black holes and humor, cats are the most fascinating to me.


“My banana is decomposing in my pocket. I was happy to see you, but now I’m brow…”

“-I’m looking for a man—
-There are several suspects in Topeka, Ks. that match t…”

“Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, …”

“I hate the phrase “Shit or get off the pot,” because I rarely cook with feces.”