On any job application I ever do, if they want my references, I always list the Bible.

“If I had a necklace made out of tiny suns, I’d only wear it at night when you c…”

“I’m looking for a girlfriend. That’s why I brought binoculars.”

“I want a beard as white as snow, and two feet deep.”

“A brick could be duct taped in front of your eyes, like a blindfold, so you can…”