On TV, I can hit the mute button and silence any moron. I wish real life came with a hush button I could push and enjoy instant quiet.

“A blanket could be used to not only make promises, but fulfill them too. They'r…”

“I skimmed the pond scum with a spoon like broth in a soup bowl. Why does everyt…”

“I carry a door with me wherever I go, because one, it’s symbolic for the opport…”

“How will I tell her I didn’t like her ginger snap cookies? Gingerly.”