One cup contains Starbucks coffee, and one holds diarrhea. But which is which? Drink it, and the one that doesn’t make you vomit is the diarrhea.

“A mafia don could snap his fingers and somebody would snap my neck. But when I …”

“A brick could be grown on a tree, much like an apple or money, so that maybe hu…”

“I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat eater. I used to own b…”

“I can’t overstate how valuable being understated is.”