One time a woman made my heart flood with love, and then fled the scene of the subsequent boating accident. Many people drowned that day, and all of them remember it fondly as they fondle themselves.

“I just stepped in shit, and now I’ve got political rhetoric all over my shoes.”

“Pizza is circular. So is an hour. I’ll take two slices—to go.”

“Enjoy a life of poverty. Become a poet.”

“I was crying on the inside, but on the outside, to the casual observer, and to …”