People are always doing studies. Now there's one that says drinking coffee can lead to the prevention of memory loss in old age. This is terrible news. Drinking coffee is my greatest pleasure in life. That, and forgetting.

“I’m sure now’s the time in my life to be doing a lot of things I’m not doing. I…”

“For Liza, a greeting is an opportunity to make new friends. For me, it's yet mo…”

“Complaining is a lot like talking, only more constructive.”

“The only thing that's worse than people who say "I am what I am" is people who …”