People don’t know I have a checkered past. I used to be a picnic table cloth.

“I put the “sing” in single. But only when I’m in the shower.”

“I have so many friends I couldn’t even count them on one hand—not even if I had…”

“On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, …”

“With your fertile eggs, and my semen, we’d make a delicious omelet.”