Probably when people hear our national anthem they think of me. A real American hero.

“A woman I had sex with is carrying my child, because God has made it so that my…”

“As an extreme method of saving, I’d kidnap myself, if I thought I’d actually pa…”

“A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you e…”

“When I’m 42, I’ll have 21 years of experience being 21. I’ll be doubly prepared…”