Rather than dirt, I’d rather push a wheelbarrow full of books. Dirty books.

“Like a vibrator bolted on a bulldozer, I’m a regular sex machine.”

“My name is Mr. Greenblew, and I am not turquoise.”

“If I were a hermaphrodite, and someone told me to go fuck myself, I'd reply, "W…”

“My expectations are sky low, because I’m standing on a mountaintop.”