Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.

“If I had a street named after me, it would really put me on the map.”

“Tomorrow night I’m giving a lecture on silence and invisibility. Don’t be surpr…”

“The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m …”

“I didn’t write this piece to attract a potential mate, as the title might lead …”