She had a smile like tomato sauce on Tuesdays, and she made my penis feel like spaghetti in the strainer. But I wouldn’t restrain her, so I just twirled my tongue like it was on a fork.

“Day or night, I can’t see the wind. But at night, it feels like I can see it ev…”

“If you put a long-haired wig on and ask nicely, I might sit on your back and ri…”

“I pitted two ditch diggers against each other, to see who could dig a pit the f…”

“I am the minister in The Ministry of Scarcity, but I’m not ordained because the…”