She said, “You disgust me. How do you live with yourself?” So I said, “Like I live with my clone: with many pats on the back, accompanied by high flattery.

“Only a friend or a giraffe would stick his neck out for you. But only a giraffe…”

“If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.”

“You know what’s not funny? Funny bones. No, at best they are only mildly amusin…”

“Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of pa…”