She told me she’d never forget me as long as she lived, and I got offended, because what, as soon as she dies I’m forgotten? Gee, thanks. I see how much I mean to her.

“After a few years of not talking, I tried reaching out to my father, but by tha…”

“I’m hungry but I won’t order 18 tubs of ketchup and a spoon. No, I’ll order it …”

“My motto is: If I didn’t do it first, I want to do it better. Boy, I sure hope …”

“A brick could be substituted in for Rhode Island as a US state, because they’re…”