She took off her red pants, the shade of ketchup, to reveal softly tanned legs, like two French fries. But when she brought up price, I knew she was too good to be true. She was definitely NOT off the dollar menu.

“Money is seen as a great evil. But I've never seen a pile of cash stab someone.”

“Extended family is great. If you want to know how extended your family is, just…”

“You can believe history books when they tell you when wars were fought. You jus…”

“I’m going to spend a lifetime being me, so I’d better like who I am as a person…”