She yawned so loudly that I wanted to use her mouth as a putt putt golf hole.

“If I had a street named after me, I’d carry that around instead of a driver’s l…”

“My fur coat doesn’t need to be dry cleaned, because it’s self-cleaning. It’s co…”

“I just got around to brushing my teeth today, and now my asshole smells minty f…”

“When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you wi…”