So I got a new job, and I start tomorrow. I’m excited to have a job, and bummed out I’m going to be working.

“A blanket could be used to represent a thing. Now this thing is curious, becaus…”

“Call me Sweet Rivers. I’ll be by the lake if you need me.”

“Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate while wearing boxing gloves? It g…”

“Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine …”