Some men eat dinner with silverware. Some use chopsticks. I prefer zippers.

“Yes, life could be better. But it could also be worse. Don’t believe me? Allow …”

“I brush my teeth with a leg of fried chicken, and gravy is my toothpaste.”

“I had an out-of-body experience so strange that it felt normal. You see, my sou…”

“A brick could be used like love. But not my love, because my love is more like …”