Some people say I look like my mom, while others say I look more like my dad. I guess it all depends on what I’m wearing.

“Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.”

“If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to …”

“A brick could be used as a key to unlock a door disguised as a brick wall. The …”

“I want to go to the Olympics. But I don’t want to train, so who’s going to buy …”