Sometimes I wish I had been born with cat fur, whiskers, and a tail, though I guess I am grateful that at least I was born with my very own litter box.

“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though,…”

“I called the cops to see if I had a rap sheet. I do, and it rhymes.”

“A brick could be used to perpetually feed the hungry, stop all wars, educate th…”

“A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll h…”