Sunday nights I get about two inches of sleep. But I make do, because that’s all the erection I can muster.

“I’d make a great politician. I’d make it out of pig shit, so it wouldn’t be as …”

“With a tough decision, the act of flipping a coin allows you to figure out whic…”

“The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’ll be no need for a …”

“You shit sheep shapes, and I shit wolves as brown as bark. It’s all politics.”